How to talk about going to rehab

Telling the people close to you

Pick one or two people who are likely to listen, and start there. Choose a private time when you are both calm. You might say, “I have been struggling with drinking. I have decided to get help. I am telling you because I want your support.”

Then say what you need. It may be a ride, help with the kids, or just someone to check in. People often want to help and do not know how. A clear request gives them a job.

Some people may react with fear or anger. That is often about worry, and you do not have to fix it in one talk. It is all right to say, “I can talk more about this later.”

Talking with children

Keep it simple, honest and suited to their age. You might say, “I have a health problem, and I am going somewhere to get better at taking care of it.” Tell them who will care for them and when they will hear from you. Children often need to hear that it is not their fault. A pediatrician or school counselor can offer advice for your child.

Talking with work

You may not need to share your diagnosis with coworkers. Many people say only that they need medical leave. Before you talk to anyone at work, read about time off work, and find out how leave works at your job. If you have a human resources office, you can start there.

Words that can help

Words carry weight. NIDA, the federal institute that studies drug use, says stigma can make people less willing to seek treatment. It suggests person-first words, such as “person with a substance use disorder” or “person in recovery”. It also suggests asking people how they want to be described. You get to choose the words for yourself.

If someone tells you they are going to treatment, you do not need a perfect reply. SAMHSA’s conversation guide suggests listening openly and without judgment. “Thank you for telling me. How can I help?” works well. SAMHSA is the federal agency for substance use and mental health. For more, see helping a family member.